Managerial Skills: Try Listening to Yourself

By Linda Chaff

Five supervisors sat in the conference room with anxious expressions. Each had submitted a report to the manager, seated at the head of the table, on the status of the individual departments.

The only sounds were as the manager would turn a page, or when the air conditioning came on. Finally, the manager looked up. “Absenteeism is too high,” he said abruptly.

“I was thinking,” Abby said hesitantly, “that we could offer an additional paid vacation day for every sick day not used up.” She smiled feebly.

The manager leaned back. “Now, that’s not a half bad idea!”

In many companies, there would be no difference between an employee taking a sick day or a paid vacation day; same amount of time away from work, and same amount of money involved. So the idea put forth by Abby would have to be explored in greater depth. To some managers, the scene presented would seem a positive one with a happy ending for Abby.

In actuality, it’s a put-down of Abby’s idea. If it isn’t half-bad, then why isn’t it good? Or at least half-good? Why not “pretty good”? No idea is perfect, or carved in stone at the point of being mentioned. Ideas have to be discussed, viewed from numerous angles, and given final approval before they can be implemented. Why didn’t that manager give Abby positive feedback for her idea, in the full knowledge that it would need to have the wrinkles ironed out? The sad answer to that is that the manager doesn’t realize that his comment wasn’t positive.

How managerial personnel express themselves is often a key indicator to their supervisory skills and how they perceive themselves. Regardless of years on the job, training seminars, a return to school for a higher degree, what and how people say things can be a clue to self-image.

Everyone has grown up with different catch phrases used by parents, teachers, and peers from grade school on up. These phrases become part of our everyday vocabulary—sometimes they’re regional expressions, sometimes they’re the argot of a profession, and sometimes the origins are long forgotten. However, since management is often assessed by what it says and what effect that has on employees, reevaluating commonly used terms and phrases is a good idea.

Think about how speech patterns can be interpreted by listeners: More than one way to skin a rabbit, stop beating a dead horse, read it and weep, and so on. These are visual, negative statements, originally meant to be a colorful means of expression, that are arcane in today’s world. Worse, one could read into them undertones of ill will or even violence.

Even something as simple as, “To be honest with you,” is a negative. It suggests that the speaker isn’t usually honest. This applies equally to “candid,” “frank,” or other terms. It places the speaker in an unfavorable light that could have been avoided.

Over the past few decades, the corporate world has become far more sensitive to the removal of slurs—even the hint of—toward any one group of society. However, the reevaluation of vocabulary seems to have hit a smug dead end. And too often, managers will use catch phrases as if they are self-explanatory replies. They’re not.

Shrugging off employees’ requests on the basis of “It’s company policy” is merely to slam the door in their faces. It wouldn’t take long to succinctly explain the reasons behind that policy. Once it’s made clear that there is a logic to it, the majority of people will not only accept it, but will be grateful for the time given to provide an explanation. Or, in the course of explaining, it may surface that the reasons for the policy’s existence were reasonable 30 years ago, but not in today’s work climate. The employees’ request may lead to managerial change that benefits everyone.

There are occasions when old bromides are harmless cliches. Yet there are other times when they are inappropriate and counterproductive. A thoughtful reassessment of one’s verbal usage can lead to stronger interpersonal communication, which can improve managerial skills.